eternal rest

I pray for eternal rest—

to be placed in the hands of God

forever. 

Why is death so much more enticing

than life? 

Is it simply that I have not 

made enough 

of this earthly existence,

or is it that I have had too much of it? 

Perhaps both are true. 

My insides have been carved out

and replaced with poison. 

Renew me,

God. 

Cradle me with love so I can heal and find purpose. 

Alchemize this trauma and illness

into something I can use.