Judgment

 Judging someone will not turn them into the person you want them to be. If you accept them as they are, that is the crack in the cement through which they will grow. Accepting who they are is not necessarily agreeing with what they’re doing. It is loving who they are right now, instead of projecting onto them your vision of who they should be. Maybe if you let them be who they are right now, they may just become the person you want them to become. But even if they don’t, that’s their right. It isn’t something children owe their parents, partners owe each other, or friends owe one another. Judging someone will only take away your ability to enjoy a relationship with them as they are now, and it potentially could lead to feelings of guilt and shame within the person being judged. Attempting to understand is what love looks like. Forgiveness is what healing looks like. Acceptance is what mental health looks like. It is much more peaceful for my soul to accept things as they are rather than running around trying change everything I deem imperfect. Accepting someone will not only allow them to become who they were meant to be, but it also turns me into someone I want to be. Resistance causes pain. If I give into the flow of people’s journeys, I think I’ll have an easier time taking part in them. This isn’t to say I can’t reject a certain behavior they display. There is a difference between a person and a person’s actions. I am talking about accepting the parts of someone that can’t be changed. That takes radical courage, wisdom, and strength. I need to not only let myself exist, but also let live everyone who is inevitably fallible.